Nebulous (Order of the Fallen Book 2) Read online

  “I guess this is the last time we’ll see this view,” I said with a sigh. “The sunsets are beautiful here.”

  “It will be even better on the boat,” Sam said, slinging an arm around my neck and pulling me in close. The pace of our footsteps fell into a steady rhythm, our souls responding to each other’s, just as they had from the moment we’d first met. Something inside of me had recognized Sam for what he was. I’d seen myself in him, though I hadn’t understood that at the time. And it wasn’t just my soul that responded to Sam. My body practically yearned to be closer to him, to feel his skin against mine.

  I cleared my throat. “I bet Lilith loved the sunsets here. She liked pretty things.”

  “Arkas liked them, too.”

  I almost stumbled, my feet catching on the sand as the surprise flittered through me. Sam—and the others—had rarely spoken Arkas’s name aloud, let alone actually say something meaningful about him. I knew that he’d died, of course, and I knew that it had happened because of a Hydra. Maybe. That part was still fuzzy. And I knew that it had been Sam’s fault. Or Uriel’s. They all seemed to take a part of the blame, the ghost of Arkas haunting each and every one of them.

  “What else did Arkas like?” I couldn’t help but ask. I’d tried to give my fallen angels space on the issue. Curiosity had tempted me to ask sooner, but I knew it was a touchy subject for them. I figured they’d tell me about Arkas when they were ready. Still, Sam had been the one to bring him up, so maybe now was that time.

  “He liked danger,” Sam said with a heavy sigh. “He liked animals and creatures, kind of like you, Erela. Except he liked even demonic ones.”

  “The Hydra,” I said, stopping short so that I could look Sam in the eye. “Don’t tell me he actually liked those things.”

  He gave a nod. “He was convinced that there was more to the Hydra than met the eye. He wanted to…communicate with one. Try to understand how they think. So, he tried to catch one.”

  My eyes practically bugged out of my head. “Catch one? But they’re…they’re massive?”

  I distinctly remembered the Hydra that had trapped me in the Harlem River. The water had been murky, so it had been difficult to get a clear view of it. But it had definitely been about twice the size of a whale. I mean, probably that size. I’d never seen a whale myself. Still. The point is, the thing was huge. Not the kind of creature that anyone in their right mind could catch.

  “Let me guess. His plan didn’t go so well.”

  Sam surprised me by chuckling. “Actually, Erela, he managed to catch the damn thing. It was when Uriel ordered him to return it to the ocean that things got dicey.”

  “Uriel?” I arched a brow. “Our Uriel? The pacifist who hates giving orders?”

  “That’s the one.” The smile slipped from Sam’s face. “I feel like the rest of this is his story to tell.”

  “Oh.” With a nod, I glanced toward the house. Sam might have been willing to talk to me about Arkas, but the others were nowhere near it. But of course, all of this still didn’t explain…

  “You’re probably wondering why I took a vow of silence,” Sam finished the thought for me. “I helped him, Erela. I helped Arkas capture the Hydra, and then I helped him try to communicate with the creature. For a little while there, I thought we’d made progress, and I told Arkas what I thought the Hydra was trying to say.” He clenched his jaw tight. “But it was all wrong. I opened my mouth and said the words that doomed Arkas. Because of that, I vowed never to speak unless absolutely necessary, and still only when I could be certain that my words rang true.”

  Chapter Four

  Erela

  Sam didn’t share any more of his history with Arkas after that, but he’d given enough details for me to get a pretty clear picture of what had happened. But I was still curious, particularly about Uriel’s part in the whole ordeal. As we all boarded the boat the next morning, I couldn’t help but cast a few curious glances his way. He’d always been the friendliest of the fallen angels, but he’d also been the biggest enigma. There was a darkness lurking in his eyes, and pain. He tried to hide it, but it was there.

  Az, I understood. He was wicked, but charmingly so. He was angry about what had happened to his family, and he wanted nothing more than to get revenge on those who had harmed him. Ramiel held the weight of his leadership on his shoulders, finding it difficult to open up, even to his fellow fallen angels. And Sam. Well, Sam was a lot like me.

  “You enjoying the show?” Uriel asked with a lopsided smile when he caught me watching him stack a few boxes of supplies on the deck. His muscles rippled as he moved, bulging against the thin cotton material of his t-shirt. It occurred to me that he’d never made a move to kiss me. Was that because he didn’t want to? Or because he didn’t think I wanted to? These were the important questions.

  A flush crept up my neck. “Always.”

  “You alright?” he asked, pausing in the box stacking. “You seem quieter than normal.”

  I was wondering why you haven’t kissed me, I thought.

  But out loud, I said, “I’m so sorry about what happened on the boat, Uriel.”

  He grinned, leaned forward, and tweaked my cheek. Heat flushed into my neck. “It was an accident. Accidents happen.”

  “Yeah, but I could have—”

  “Could have. Might have.” He shrugged. “But you didn’t. I forgive you, but I don’t think you need to be forgiven. So, are we okay?”

  I nodded, but my heart still hurt. Uriel might forgive me, but I couldn’t forgive myself. Not yet, anyway. “Were you here the last time the portal got opened?”

  “I was.” He turned back to his boxes and stacked another on top of the pile. “It was absolute carnage. The demons were so excited to finally have direct access to humanity that things were not pretty at all during the first few months of their new reign. There were a lot of deaths.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you think it’d be like that again now?”

  “Honestly? Yes. That’s why we don’t have a moment to waste.”

  Sailing a boat was something I definitely hadn’t learned in angel school. Why would they teach us about sterns and jibs and starboards when we would never (okay, almost never) have to use that knowledge? Angels have wings, and wings are a hell of a lot faster than a yacht. Luckily, the Order of the Fallen seemed to have a knack for this kind of thing, and they’d even rounded up some human crew members who were more than eager to get off the mainland. And the boat looked strangely better in the daylight. The dark red that had painted every surface seemed…faint somehow.

  I sidled up to Sam and gave a nod toward the human crew members. “So, your boat looks like shit, but not as much as it did in New York.”

  “The men here cleaned it up for us. It’s not perfect. That would take far more time than we have. But at least she’s in decent shape now.”

  “Basically, we don’t have to sale for two weeks next to old blood stains.” I shuddered. “What do you think they were doing on this boat?”

  Sam’s shoulders went tense, and he ground his teeth together. “What do you think they were doing, Erela?”

  “Murdering humans,” I said softly, just as a hot tear ran down my cheek.

  He gave a nod.

  I blew out a breath and blinked away the tears. Now was not the time to cry, as much relief as that might bring to my tightly-wound emotions. “Sam. Do you ever feel like, I don’t know, we’re just as bad as they are? We have that darkness inside of us.”

  Sam turned to me, and his fiery eyes matched the fear churning deep inside my gut. “No. Because all I have to do is look at you.”

  My heart clenched tight.

  Sam took my elbow and steered me toward the doorway that led down into the cabin area of the boat. I cast a glance over my shoulder at Ramiel, who stood tall, directing the crew members. “Why don’t I show you to your cabin?”

  My heart thumped hard. “Am I the only one getting a personal tour?”

&nbs
p; A cheeky smile spread across his lips. “No one else is getting a tour. I know which cabins are the best, remember? I want to make sure you get first pick before the others swarm in and take it themselves.”

  “That’s sweet,” I couldn’t help but say with a shy smile. “But I don’t need the best room, Sam. I’d rather Ramiel have it. Or Lizzie.”

  “Ramiel will want the room closest to the door. If you and Lizzie want to swap cabins at some point, then be my guest.” He led me down a long, thin hallway before pausing in front of a sleek wooden door that sat at the very end, all by itself. “First, I’d like you to see what I’m offering you.”

  Was he talking about the cabin? Or something else?

  I wet my lips. “Let’s see it then.”

  Sam pushed open the door, rolled back his shoulders, and ushered me into the cabin with a satisfied smirk on his face. And I could see why he thought the room was pretty spectacular. There was a large, king-sized bed with fluffy white bedding, sandwiched between two gleaming wooden tables. A soft lamp illuminated the space, the light glinting off the porthole that gave an expansive view of the ocean outside the boat.

  “How did you manage this?” I turned toward Sam. “I thought the demons had destroyed this place.”

  “Like I said, we’ve been busy.” He gave a shrug and smiled. “While our new crew members were working on the decks, I cleaned up down here. I took the bedding from Lilith’s house. I thought you’d like it if we brought a part of her along with us.”

  “Oh, Sam.”

  He grinned. “Does that mean you like it?”

  “Oh, I more than just like it. Some might say that I…”

  Love it. But while Az had made a declaration to me during a tense, emotion-filled moment where none of us had been sure exactly how bad our casualties would end up being, Sam and I hadn’t yet expressed those kind of emotions. The two of us had shared far more than I’d shared with any of the other Fallen, but I didn’t want to voice my feelings aloud. Not yet, anyway. In fact, maybe it was because we’d shared so much that I was scared to voice my truth. I didn’t want to lose what we had. Just in case he didn’t see me that way. I knew he wanted me. I knew he cared. But I didn’t know how much further than that it went.

  Of course, I wasn’t opposed to enjoying his affections, however deep, for all they were worth.

  He arched an eyebrow. “Some might say that you what?”

  Leaning forward, I pressed my palms flat to his warm chest. “Some might say that I want the room.”

  He got the point. With a low growl, he lifted me from the floor and tossed me onto the bed as if I weighed nothing more than a single angelic feather. The bed itself was surprisingly soft and bouncy, and I sunk into the luxurious covers as a gasp slipped out of my throat.

  “I love it when you throw me around,” I whispered, gazing up at him while he slowly pulled his shirt over his head. The chest laid bare was sculpted to perfection, hardened from years spent training for battle. There were scars, too. Two small crisscrosses that dotted his abs. It only added to the allure of him.

  He was strong. He was powerful. He was mine.

  He grasped my wrists in his hands and pinned them to the bed on either side of me. I squirmed against his touch, only half-heartedly trying to break free. Sam was taking control, and the thrill of his raw maleness made an aching heat spread between my thighs.

  “Do you know that from the moment I saw you…” He trailed hot kisses across the curve of my jaw as he murmured his words, “I wanted to have you underneath me just like this? Squirming for me? Aching for me?”

  My core clenched tight. My god, what was he doing? Sam and I had spent more than one night together but never like this. His words were so raw. They were animalistic. And something deep within me was answering to it like my body never had before.

  His grip around my wrists loosened for just long enough for him to rip my shirt wide open. I gasped and glanced down at the shredded material, my chest now bare for his hungry eyes. He dropped his gaze to my peaked breasts, smiling with appreciation. And then he rubbed his thumb against my nipple, and I shuddered in response.

  “There is no one else like you, Erela. And there never will be.”

  He pushed off the bed and slid his jeans to the floor, shimmying mine from my thighs after he climbed back onto the bed. When he settled back over me again, I thought for a moment that his dark, flashing eyes meant he would grab ahold of my wrists, taking control just like before. But instead, he grabbed me by the waist, flipped me over, and growled into my ear. My entire body shuddered in response.

  I gasped as he pushed my face against the silk sheets, his fingers twisting tightly in my hair. For a moment, he stilled. The only sound was my heart hammering loudly in my ears.

  “Is this okay?” he asked. “I only want to do something you’d enjoy.”

  “Of course it’s okay,” I whispered, my whole body taut with anticipation of what would come next.

  His fingers tightened around my hair, and the length of him pushed inside of me. Stars lit up in my eyes. Hot electric pleasure shot through my core. The first few thrusts were slow and caring, just as they’d been when we’d first made love. But it didn’t take long for the animal to return. He grasped me tight, his slow rhythm intensifying into pounding thrusts. I could barely breathe around the aching pleasure that filled up every molecule of my being.

  He pushed down on my face even harder. His hands tightened even more around my hair. He was taking me as his, fully commanding my body. And the roughness of it all made it that much more exhilarating. My pleasure was building up inside of me strong and fast. I screamed out his name when it finally shook through me, my whole body spasming like it never had before.

  Chapter Five

  Erela

  ONE WEEK LATER

  We awoke to a crash. And not the rhythmic crashing of waves that I’d begun to get accustomed to during our time spent on the ocean. No, this was something much louder. A boom that shook the very core of the ship. It was as if something large and heavy was knocking against the underside of the boat, and I had the sudden fear that we’d somehow drifted too far north and crashed into an iceberg, like that old human ship, Titanic.

  Sam was on his feet within seconds, pressing his face against the frosted glass of the porthole. “I was afraid of this. We’ve come upon a group of water demons.”

  I arched a brow as I scrambled off the bed. “Water demons? This far north? I thought they liked warm waters.”

  “Yeah, well. They’ve adapted, and they aren’t so shy about the cold anymore.” He pointed at the daggers I’d placed on the table next to my side of the bed. “Grab your weapons. You’re going to need them.”

  The rest of the Order was on the deck when Sam and I emerged from below. They each held a weapon in their hands, gazes hard on the churning waters as the yacht moved further and further into the blue expanse before us. Ramiel stood in front, as always, hands tight around a bow.

  “Good of you to join us,” he said almost too quietly to hear over the rush of water and wind. “The water demons have been banging against the boat for the past hour.”

  “What do they want?” I asked, ignoring his clipped tone. When I’d first met Ramiel, his stoniness had gotten to me at times. I’d taken it personally, but he was like this with everyone. It was his shield against his emotions. The only way he knew how to be. He was the boss, the leader, the one in charge of our lives. And he took it far more seriously than any of the rest of us would combined.

  “I’m guessing they want to see us drown, little Seraphim girl,” Az said. “They might not realize we’re angels yet. ‘Course, we have a bunch of humans on board, so.”

  So, while we wouldn’t drown if the demons managed to tip us over (one of the perks of being an angel), the humans would.

  Lizzie took a deep breath and stepped up to the black metal railing. She leaned over the side, staring down into the churning waters. After a moment of tense silence, the
boat tilted sideways with a groan. Lizzie gasped and clung onto the railing, her sword dropping down into the swirling waters.

  When the boat righted itself, she bounced back from the railing. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the safety of the cockpit. “Dammit, Lizzie. Don’t get too close to the water demons.”

  “I just wanted to get a look at one. This might be my only chance,” she said, her voice hitching in her throat.

  I could understand that. While I’d always been most interested in fire demons during our time spent at the Academy, Lizzie had always been enraptured by water demon stories. They couldn’t survive more than a minute above water, and they thrived on salt. The oceans of earth were the perfect place for them, though I’m sure the fish didn’t agree. According to legends, water demons could get quite…ravenous if they hadn’t fed for awhile. At this point, there would be far more water demons than fish in the seas.

  And weren’t we lucky that they’d found our boat?

  The boat dipped sideways once again, and we all clung onto the railings for dear life. Rourke, the human that Ramiel had appointed as captain of the ship scurried out of the hatch, his face pale, his lips the color of the sky. “What is happening? We all left land to get away from demons. How have they followed us here? The men are talking of abandoning ship.”

  Ramiel pressed his lips tightly together. “Go down below decks and keep your men with you. We’ll handle this. They’re far safer inside than in the waters. Tell them to remain calm. Panic will cause nothing but harm.”

  The captain nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. He scurried back down the length of the boat, grabbed a couple of his men, and then led them down below decks. The Order all fell silent, every single one of us looking Ramiel’s way for guidance.